Karen Goes to the Market

Before I start this, you have to remember that I am not just an odd foreignor in my little town -- I am the ONLY odd foreignor in my little town.

Last weekend I decided to host some friends for dinner. This is quite an experience since my cooking facilities are pretty spartan, mostly because I have no oven. I never realized how much I used one until I didn't have one.

It would be 3 Americans (including me) and 3 Taiwanese -- all English teachers. I had hoped for some interesting conversation over a fair to good dinner. Wrong again! But more about that later.

One of my friends said we should have chicken and dumplings (which I had never made) but was able to procure a box of Bisquik in Tainan and a recipe from RecipeSource.com, so I thought I would be all set.

The morning of the party, I ventured to our local "traditional" market. This causes a GREAT deal of excitement as the foreignor comes into the area. Lots of little old ladies try to charm me into buying their vegetables but I thought I had better start with the chickens first. I went to a chicken stall -- really intending to shop around but immediately got sucked in at the one place. Chickens are sold whole here, so first I indicated that they needed to chop off the heads and the feet. That done, I got them to cut up the birds into recognizable pieces. By now I know that the woman's English name is Virginia and that her husband has raised the chickens himself and that they are the best around, very meaty and not much fat. Actually, all of this appeared to be true.

Then came the price part! I thought I needed two chickens so even with the odd parts cut off, I was left with about 6 lbs. of bird. The price was about $20! I couldn't believe it, asked again, acted dumb, made them write it down, etc. Nope, I understood the first time. It seems chicken is one of the most expensive meats there is. Little did I know, but what could I do at that point. They had all but cooked them for me. Live and learn.

That kind of put a crimp in what I had to spend for salad fixins' and the celery and carrots for the pot. This was all pretty cheap, however, a huge argument broke out between two old gals over who got to sell me celery. I couldn't follow all of it but it seemed one had better prices and one had better quality but one also seemed to have more experience dealing with foreignors so considered herself the better choice. I really wanted to get home by this point but what could I do. All the other vendors were standing around, either joining the argument or laughing. I joined the laughing group. The big problem with buying vegetables is that no matter how I protest, they keep giving me more. I only needed a handful of mushrooms but ended up with about 2 lbs. -- and then had to pay for them, of course.

Then, as I was leaving, the egg lady who had sold me eggs for an earlier party, nearly attacked me to ask why I wasn't buying her eggs. So I did. Then there were all the people trying to sell me vegetables that I didn't recognize, hard to put them in salad.

That left drinks. As far as I can tell, there is no white wine in Taiwan except at Costco. They do sell a really nasty (but expensive) red at the 7-11 but I know that one of my guests really likes it so I bought her a bottle. Beer and soda for the others (mostly soda, Chinese aren't big drinkers) brought the total for this dinner to about $60 -- a little more than I had expected. Oh well, it would be fun.

Time approaches, house is clean, chicken is bubbling along nicely and my first two guests arrive with the news that the third Taiwanese guest can't come. This would be the one I bought the wine for. My two American friends came right after so we were 5. It quickly became clear, though, that we were really only 4. The one Taiwanese that I was most interested in hearing from, apparently was intimidated by the rest of us because she became mute. Conversation lagged, dinner was not a great hit, and everyone was falling asleep by 9:00.

Oh well, I have enough leftovers to feed me for a month and the folks at the market are still talking about my visit.